How to Win in Youth Sports: Resilient Mindset

Inspired by our book Coaching Better Athletes

Part 2 of a 3 Part Series

"...it takes intentional leadership to foster unity, accountability, and shared purpose."

A winning youth sports program starts with a culture that feels like a family, where every athlete is invested in the team’s success. This isn’t built by chance—it takes intentional leadership to foster unity, accountability, and shared purpose. Look at the University of Wisconsin women’s volleyball team under Coach Kelly Sheffield: their dominance stems from a culture where bench players cheer as fiercely as starters, all driven by standards like “We bring relentless energy” or “We uplift our teammates.” These aren’t rigid rules but team-owned expectations that inspire pride. As a coach, embed something like these in every practice—celebrate the player who sprints to every loose ball or the individual who communicates so well that everyone in the gym knows what’s going on. Recognize these moments publicly, in an unforgettable way. That’ll reinforce collective effort towards that specific type of play. This builds a team that competes as one, amplifying every athlete’s potential.

Mental resilience is just as crucial, equipping kids to handle the inevitable setbacks of sports. Mistakes happen—a missed serve, a fumbled pass—but learning to rebound from mishaps is what shapes growth. Use growth-oriented language like “You’re not there YET, but you’re closer” or praise effort over talent: “I love how you kept fighting for there.” After a loss, ask, “What can we take from this?” to turn setbacks into lessons. There are a number of ways to employ practices that develop resilience and they all stem from placing the focus in the right area. When things get tough, mental resilience can be developed through the use of MPT (see our previous post on that subject). Stanford Volleyball’s former coach Kevin Hambly mastered this, using mindfulness exercises like deep-breathing pauses to help players stay poised under pressure. 

Try It Yourself

Try a simple practice ritual: have athletes jot down one thing they improved each session, building a habit of self-reflection. For example, a young swimmer might note, “I held my breath longer today,” reinforcing progress over perfection, especially if that specific thing is a process goal that an athlete has set for themselves. Keep in mind that this culture and mindset must rest on a foundation of fundamentals and you always have to stay true to your coaching philosophy (something we talked about here). Shortcuts, like benching a developing player for a quick win, stunt growth. Don't be afraid of the long road when it comes to player/team development.

To deepen this approach, address potential pushback. Some parents may demand wins over development—counter this by sharing stories of athletes like Mia Hamm, who credited early focus on fundamentals for her soccer success. Remember that you're the expert when it comes to what you're trying to achieve. Parents tend to have a narrow, short-sighted focus. There are exceptions to this rule, but they are just exceptions. Host a mid-season check-in to highlight non-scoreboard wins, like improved team communication. By weaving culture, resilience, and fundamentals into daily practice, you build athletes who thrive in competition and life, equipped with grit, confidence, and a love for the game.

One thing for you to try…

Kick off practice with a “culture moment” huddle where players share a teammate’s effort they noticed, like a hustle play or encouraging word. This reinforces unity and sets the tone for the session. Good luck with this! Let us know how it goes!