Getting the Most From Your Athletes: Why They Play and How to Guide Them

Inspired by our book Coaching Better Athletes

PART 2 OF A 3-PART SERIES

Introduction: The Key to Athlete Buy-In

Ever coached a talented athlete who just wouldn’t put in the effort? It’s frustrating, but the solution isn’t to push harder—it’s to understand their motivation for playing. In Part 2 of our three-part series, we’ll explore why athletes participate in sports and how you can use a powerful technique called Motivational Interviewing (M.I.) to help them tap into their own drive. Building on Part 1’s focus on your coaching "why," this post shows you how to align your purpose with your athletes’ motivations to unlock their potential.

Why Do Athletes Play?

Athletes don’t always know why they’re out there, but research gives us clues. A U.S. study found that enjoyment is the top reason kids play sports. Other studies state that young people like to play with their friends in an environment that reinforces competence. In short, athletes play for three main reasons:

• To have fun.

• To be with friends.

• To feel competent or skilled.

  
  

As a coach, your job is to uncover each athlete’s "why" and help them clarify their "what"—their desired outcomes for participation, whether it’s mastering a skill, making varsity, or just enjoying the game.

Motivational Interviewing

Motivational Interviewing (M.I.) is a clinical practice that helps people unveil their motivations. This broadly accepted technique for unveiling motivations is priceless when done correctly. In this post we will explain how we slightly modify M.I. to help coaches utilize it with their athletes. 

People often think coaches need to be inspiring to be effective. However, it’s not about you inspiring your athletes; it’s about guiding them to discover their own drive. M.I. has four key elements, and we’ll focus on two here: the Coaches’ R.U.L.E. and the OARS model.

1. The Coaches’ R.U.L.E.

• Resist the Fix: Don’t try to “fix” an athlete. Pushing too hard can backfire, especially with ambivalent players. Instead, respect their pace of development.

• Understand Motivations: Ask questions to uncover what drives them. If an athlete states that they really want to get better but does something like skip a practice or workout, point out this discrepancy without judgment.

• Listen to Purpose: Use empathy to understand their life outside sports. Create a safe space where they feel heard, not lectured.

• Empower Athletes: Give them autonomy to make choices. This fosters a growth mindset (you can read more about that in Carol Dweck’s book, GRIT), where challenges become opportunities, not roadblocks.

2. The OARS Model

• Open-Ended Questions: Ask questions that spark dialogue, like, “What do you love most about playing?” instead of “Do you like playing?”

• Affirmations: Highlight strengths based on their actions. If a player shows up despite a bad attitude, say, “I admire your commitment to being here every day.”

• Reflective Listening: Echo their words to show you understand. If they say, “I’m frustrated because I’m not improving,” respond, “It sounds like you really want to get better but feel stuck.”

• Summaries: Recap conversations to clarify and move forward. “So, you want to improve your defense, but practice time is tough. Let’s talk about options.”

Putting It Into Action

Here’s a quick scenario: Jenna, a volleyball player, wants to make varsity but rarely stays for extra drills. Instead of saying, “You need to work harder if you want to get better,” try this:

• Ask: “What’s it like for you trying to balance school and volleyball?” (Open-ended question)

• Affirm: “I’ve noticed you’re always on time for practice—that shows dedication.”

• Listen: If she says, “I’m tired after school,” reflect, “It sounds exhausting to juggle everything.”

• Empower: “What’s one small step you could take to work toward making varsity?” Let her suggest some ideas that you can either affirm or help modify.

This approach helps Jenna feel supported and motivated to act. 

Why It Works

M.I. taps into athletes’ intrinsic motivation, making them more likely to stick with their goals. It also builds trust, as they see you as a guide, not a dictator. Over time, this supportive dialogue feeds into the cycle of motivation: skill development boosts confidence, which fuels more effort, which further develops skill, and so on.

Looking Ahead

In our next post, we’ll cover building a team culture that maximizes strengths and empowers athletes to thrive. We’ll dive deeper into M.I.’s remaining elements and introduce Appreciative Inquiry. Stay tuned!

Practical Application

Try one OARS technique this week—ask an athlete an open-ended question or offer an affirmation. Please share your experience with us.