How to Win in Youth Sports: Define Winning

Inspired by our book Coaching Better Athletes

Part 1 of a 3 Part Series

Winning Beyond the Scoreboard

Red Sanders’ famous quote, “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing,” captures the raw intensity of competition, but in youth sports, it’s a narrow lens. For young athletes, success isn’t just about racking up points—it’s about the moments of growth that shape them on and off the field. Picture a player shaking off a missed shot to rally their team, or pushing through a grueling practice knowing that the discomfort is what makes them grow. These are the true victories that build character and skill, far outlasting a single competition's outcome.

"For young athletes, success isn’t just about racking up points—it’s about the moments of growth..."

Research from the Aspen Institute’s Project Play reveals what kids really want: only 38% play sports to win, while 81% seek fun and 79% aim to improve. Coaches who lean into these priorities create environments where athletes stay engaged and develop a lifelong love for the game. So, what should you do as a coach? Instead of obsessing over the scoreboard, focus on process-oriented goals—like what you'll do to help a player master a skill, improve team culture, or build confidence. These milestones keep practices meaningful and help kids see progress, even when the score doesn’t go their way.

Balancing competition with development requires intentionality. Short-term wins feel great, but overemphasizing outcomes can teach kids to chase fleeting numbers rather than embrace the grind. Consider a soccer coach who celebrates a player’s hustle to recover a ball as much or even more than a goal. That praise reinforces effort, fostering a mindset that values growth over glory. That of course leads to more growth, which in turns makes achieving the glory more possible. Regardless of how often your team achieves what many call success in terms of wins and losses, the most important thing is setting goals that make growth possible. By setting clear, achievable goals—like “We communicate on every play” or “We finish every drill strong”—you give athletes something tangible to strive for, and that creates the kind of culture your program needs to be successful on every front.

"Balancing competition with development requires intentionality."

This approach pays dividends. Kids who associate sports with fun and improvement are more likely to stick with it, avoiding the burnout that drives many to quit by age 13. As a coach, your role is to redefine “winning” as a blend of effort, skill, and heart. Host a pre-season meeting with parents and players to share this vision: “We’re building athletes, not just chasing trophies.” Then, back it up in practice with drills that challenge and excite, ensuring every session feels like a step forward. By prioritizing progress over points, you create a program where victories—on the scoreboard and in life—are the natural result of doing things right.